This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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