Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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