My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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