got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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