Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
