Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
