DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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