I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize