When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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