I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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