Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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