By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize