My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Bring me that man meat
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
