My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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