i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
