And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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