I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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