She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Four minutes until I can fart!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize