i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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