so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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