dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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