I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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