meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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