you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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