Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
