So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
