Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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