This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
