he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
