I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.