I'm lost and stupid without you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's just like the Real World with babies
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son