I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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