This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.