You can't special order awesome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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I agree and I would be an awesome dog
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow