Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
