why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize