Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
