apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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