you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
