I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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