If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize