Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.