Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.