Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....