I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.