This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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