She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
