Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
