ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
