There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
