I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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