Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
