He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
