I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
