apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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