Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i came on her dog
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
