Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
