Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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