Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize