for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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