I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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