I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
