Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
