You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
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The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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